Xenophobia is an inordinate fear of foreigners because the inner life of foreigners is foreign. Xenophilia is an inordinate trust in foreigners for the same reason. The xenophobe assumes there must be something sinister behind the curtain; the xenophile assumes there must be something sweet. These two reactions to the alien may seem like opposites, but they both sprout from the same root. As Kipling said, human understanding diminishes with cultural and racial distance, and we see the inside of a man only when he is very nearly like ourselves.
I don’t think Kipling’s poem “The Stranger” is xenophobic, although this is how it appears to a postmodern xenophile. The poem simply reminds us that a stranger is strange, and that his inner life is concealed behind a curtain outsiders cannot see through. If you are wrong in your assumption that there is something sinister behind the Stranger’s curtain, you may treat him impolitely, perhaps even unjustly. If you are wrong in your assumption that there is something sweet behind that curtain, you may be swindled, betrayed, or even wind up dead.
Here is Kipling’s poem “The Stranger” adjusted to express the inner life of a postmodern xenophile.
The Stranger within my gate,
He may be true or kind,
But I take him at his word—
Assume he is benign.
I trust that his face and eyes and mouth
Reflect the soul behind.
The men of my own stock,
I know their black design,
Their wicked ways, their crocodile tears,
For these are like unto mine;
And this is why I loath and fear
Men of my own bloodline.
The Stranger within my gate,
He may be evil or good,
But I believe his smile and tears—
Wish other people would;
I trust the Gods of his far-off land
Will make him do as he should.
The men of my own stock,
Bitter bad they are, I see,
For the wicked gods that call to them
Have also called to me;
And this is why I loath and fear
Men of my own country.
This was my father’s belief
And this is also mine:
The strange face hides a heart of gold,
My brother’s a heart malign,
How sad dear Dad died long ago
In some foreign temple or shrine.
The Orthosphere 
Xenophilia must be partly shame-driven. One is ashamed of one’s own Great Unwashed and embarrassed by their kitsch and sentimentality and crassness and dysfunction. One is horrified by the thought that one might be in some way tied to them. Then there’s managerialist treachery and societal asset-stripping — it is not necessary to hate those one is dispossessing, but it certainly helps to do so.
The answer, of course, is Noblesse Oblige… but that would require nobility.
It is easy to romanticize people who are speaking a language and practicing customs you do not understand. They are talking about the same inane trivia as the proles who speak your own language, and practicing customs that are very likely stupider, but it all looks interesting through a fog of incomprehension. I just yesterday encountered a very bad case of this Noble Savage Syndrome.
Liberal Christians have this strange idea that Old Testament Israel was extremely welcoming towards foreigners, and that this should be the norm. But they were not really. The welcome due to strangers was always limited and conditional. Just imagine some Gentile deciding it would be a good idea to whip out his idols and start worshipping them right there on the streets of Jerusalem. What would have happened to him? Exactly. So much for welcoming the stranger.
It was sometimes conditional on that stranger assisting in the massacre of that stranger’s kith and kin.