Stray Thoughts With Some Salacity

“MAGA forces are determined to take this country backwards — backwards to an America where there is no right to choose, no right to privacy, no right to contraception, no right to marry who you love.”

President Joe Biden, “City of Brotherly Love Address” (September 1, 2022)

“‘I’ve stopped going to sex parties,’ he said, given that public health authorities identified such gatherings of men as major monkeypox risk factors. ‘I also stopped having sex with people who live off their OnlyFans. I additionally stopped cruising at the gym, I did not continue to go to Fire Island, and I stopped attending orgies.'”

Rojas quoted in Benjamin Ryan, “How Monkeypox Spoiled Gay Men’s Plans for an Invincible Summer,” NBC News (September 2, 2022)

If an American has a natural right to kill and discard an unwanted fetus, no forces—not even MAGA forces—can take that natural right away.  They can prevent its exercise, but a natural right remains.  The same can be said of the rights to “privacy,” “contraception,” and marrying whomever one pleases, if these are, indeed, natural rights.  But if they are mere inventions of law . . .

The Lord giveth and taketh away—and likewise the Legislature.

* * * * *

Rojas is a good name for a priapic sex maniac.  The name means “red” and I daresay there is no  lubricant so lubricious that all the slippings and slidings of young Rojas have not resulted in a certain localized rubicundity.  But the Sorrows of Young Rojas, as Goethe might have put it, do make me wonder if sex-negative MAGA forces may have cooked up the Monkeypox to prevent men like young Rojas from exercising their natural rights.   Didn’t the Sage of Monticello write,

All Men . . . are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights . . . among these are Sex Parties, Orgies, and the Pursuit of a Rubicund Rod.

* * * * *

I thought OnlyFans was a website where comely coeds took money off smelly wankers in order to pay their college tuition.   Now I learn from Rojas that it is, or is also, a rendezvous for randy, rogering, rubicund rakes.  And lest some of you tut while thinking that the pious Orthospher is no place for badinage about randy, rogering, rubicund rakes, let quote from the diary of the pious eighteenth-century Virginia planter William Byrd, entry dated March 29, 1711.

“I said my prayers and had good health, good thoughts, and good humor, thank God Almighty.  I rogered my wife with vigor.”*

* * * * *

If you are one of those bluestockings who believe that priapism and piety are immiscible, I urge you to study the life of Mr. Byrd.  If you wish to understand where priapism goes when uncoupled with piety (or with the obliging Mrs. Byrd), I urge you to study the life of Mr. Rojas (before it was so cruel constrained by the MAGA-cooked Monkeypox).  If you study both, you will learn the difference between a sane man and a sex maniac.

“I rose about 8 o’clock, having first rogered my wife . . . . I said my prayers and drank chocolate for breakfast.  Notwithstanding the bad weather we prepared to go to church . . . . Mr. Finney gave us a good sermon” (September 9, 1711).


*) William Byrd, The Great American Gentleman: William Byrd of Westover in Virginia, His Secret Diary for the Years 1709-1712 (New York: Putnam, 1963)

8 thoughts on “Stray Thoughts With Some Salacity

  1. The founders were engaged in salacious conduct (of their time). The wife-swapping, etc. of at least a few of them isn’t mere anecdote. But it was private. What I object to learning about in the present day is the private world of strangers voice aloud. I try to avoid it. But it’s very difficult when America is awash in clinical narcissism, which I think is really THE plague of our time. Historians of the future, if they have electricity, will look at the historical record and note the obsessive focus on one self and the seemingly overpowering urge to tell everyone about it in a pitiful adults version of the child’s show & tell.

    • There is on the one hand outrageous “oversharing” like that of young Rojas. On the other there is a weirdly obsessive. I just learned from a third party that a man I’ve worked with for twenty-five years took a wife a few years back. We’re not close, but I though we were on good enough terms to share such momentous news. Twenty years ago I had broken bread in the homes of nearly all my colleagues. Now they are very cagy about where they live.

      • Kristor! O! Mighty Keeper of the Keys! This humble (very humble, at times) author petitions Your Eminence to install a plug-in by which exegetical commentary on this site may edited by him what comments. My petition thus submitted, I remain your faithful etc etc

      • Richard, the experts at WordPress tell me that giving commenters the ability to edit their already submitted comments is “not something that is possible in WordPress.” If you can point us to a specific add-in that you have found will work, I would be grateful. WordPress lists 59,000 add-ins, and I wouldn’t know where to start in finding the right one.

    • I also have a soft spot for alliteration, although I’ve read it is bad rhetoric. I think the critic called it that “asinine alliterative affectation.”

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