“We need immigrants to take all the different kinds of jobs that the country needs — improve our culture, our cuisine, our religion, our dialogue and certainly improve our economy.”
Michael Bloomberg speaking at a Mexican restaurant in Phoenix, Arizona, November 26, 2019.
A vampire is a species of the unquiet dead. Unlike a specter or wraith, the dead soul of a vampire remains an incarnate being bound to its body. This body spends much of its time dormant in its grave, but periodically awakens and by strange powers passes through the earth to stalk the upper world. On these nocturnal forays, a vampire is, of course, wont to suck the blood of sleeping men and women, thereby infecting them with its vampirism, but also refreshing its body with the antidote to physical decay.
“In consequence of these practices, the persons sucked became weak and emaciated; the corpse of the vampire, on the contrary, was found, even after long interment, fresh, florid, and full of blood.”*
If Michael Bloomberg is correct in his assessment of America’s need for fresh blood, we seem to have become a sort of vampire among the nations. America is dead, but our corpse remains curiously “fresh, florid and full of blood” because we are wont to suck off the children, the culture, the cuisine, the religion, and even the dialogue (whatever that means) of undead nations.
Undead but far from healthy, since the nations we suck are rendered “weak and emaciated” by our sucking.
There was a time when wretched refuse came to America for a better life. It now seems that they bring a better life to the wretched refuse known as Americans. Our culture, cuisine, religion, and economy would rot in three days if they were not regularly refreshed by the sustaining blood of those who live.
It is, of course, amusing to hear a Jew speak of “our religion.” I presume he is not proposing to subject his religion to syncretic improvements, but would be curious to hear just what he thinks Christians need to suck from the heathen creeds. Or to put this somewhat differently, I am curious to hear why he thinks Christianity sucks. It is equally amusing to hear a man worth fifty-five billion dollars speak about “our culture” and “our cuisine,” as if M. Bloomberg is at this moment wrestling over a widescreen in a Black Friday mob, purchasing a 100 oz. soda through a drive-up window, or installing spinners on his automobile.
If we really are a vampire sucking our life from the vital nations of the world, someone needs to drive a stake through our heart and put an end to our sanguinary sucking. If we are not a true vampire, but only a sort of foreign-blood junkie, we need to kick the habit and rely on our own blood.
A fool there was and he made his prayer
(Even as you and I),
To a rag and a bone and a hank of hair
(We call her the woman who did not care)
But the fool he called her his lady fair
(Even as you and I)**
*) John Ferriar, “Of Popular Illusions,” pp. 31-116 in Proceedings of the Manchester Literary and Philosophical Society, vol. 3 (1790), quote p. 86.
**) Rudyard Kipling, “The Vampire” (1897).