Tussling on a Tuffet: A Tale of Our Times

Just to be perfectly clear, I do not think that sexual assault is a laughing matter.  But I do think there is such thing as serious satire, by which I mean satire intended to correct and not amuse.  Mordant humor is written to bite, and by biting to deter.  As folks say, “once bitten, twice shy.”

If the fear of grievous harm is not sufficient to deter young women from folly, I say we double the deterrent with the fear of ridicule.  If a biting satire of one sexual assault deters ten young women from the folly that will lead to ten sexual assaults more, I say the first victim must be “faulted as a fool.”

I’m going to call the most recent victim on this campus little Miss Muffet, as she seems to resemble the heroine of the famous nursery rhyme in all but one vital respect.  For those whose recollection of nursery rhymes isn’t what it was, here are the words.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Now our little Miss Muffet was not seated on a tuffet, but was rather seated or sprawled on some unnamed item of furniture.  Close at hand lurked “the suspect,” a young man who had yet to reveal himself as “a spider.”  The two were not innocently slurping curds and whey, but were, perhaps somewhat disingenuously, “watching a movie.”  We may suppose they were doing this alone and behind closed doors, for “the suspect” soon felt himself at liberty to “initiate sexual contact with the victim.”

If only someone had told our little Miss Muffet that sexual contact had been “initiated” when they made their date to “watch a movie” behind closed doors, and that if one reposes with a young man on a secluded tuffet, that young man will very likely, sooner or later, reveal himself as a spider possessed of eight hairy but very nimble paws.

When this particular tussle on this particualr tuffet began to get out of hand, our little Miss Muffet “told the suspect ‘no,’” but –knock me down with a feather– “the contact continued.”  When she slipped down off the tuffet and “tried to leave, the suspect locked and blocked the door.”

Dangerous tuffet, you may be thinking—and one very bad spider.

But this does not appear to be what our little Miss Muffet though, for unlike the heroine of the nursery rhyme, our little Miss Muffet was not frightened away.  Indeed, the very next day it appears she was back on that tuffet, alone with that spider, and that the spider was no less ardent than the night before.  In fact, their second tussle on the tuffet ended with the spider “forcing the victim into oral sex.”

Well it seems our little Miss Muffet and her spider went home for the Christmas break, but, alas, neither returned to campus any sadder or wiser.  Rather, both immediately climbed back onto their tuffet.  Another tussle ensued, protests were once again ignored, and this time, at length, “the suspect pressured the victim into sexual intercourse.”

Bad show all around.  A really bad show.  If only our little Miss Muffet had taken to heart the wholesome example of her prudent namesake:

Along came a spider
Who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away

 

See also here, here, and here

4 thoughts on “Tussling on a Tuffet: A Tale of Our Times

  1. Pingback: Tussling on a Tuffet: A Tale of Our Times | @the_arv

  2. Pingback: Tussling on a Tuffet: A Tale of Our Times | Reaction Times

  3. If the fear of grievous harm is not sufficient to deter young women from folly, I say we double the deterrent with the fear of ridicule.

    I agree.

  4. Pingback: This Week In Reaction (2018/02/04) - Social Matter

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