The misogyny that seems eventually and inevitably to settle upon gamers, and for that matter natural alphas and bitter betas – the cynicism and despair, the ashen mouth – is due to their idolization of their own defective twisted corporeal wants over and above their own true and highest spiritual good. Having vested their hopes in sublunary corporeal goods, naturally their highest spiritual good – upon which all their other goods ultimately depend – goes wanting even as their corporeal desires are never quite met; so that they are in the first place intending illy (i.e., inaptly, as seeking from women what creatures cannot possibly furnish) toward and in re women and in the second doing ill to them, and ipso facto to themselves.
If you are focused on satisfying your own mundane corporeal utilitarian wants (money, power, strokes, orgasms, whatever), you are bound to be dissatisfied, because mundane wants are inherently insatiable (they can ever be sated only as subordinate to the satiation of the fundamental, supramundane, superordinate want). Then you are bound to blame your lover, who has failed to sate them. You are bound to nurse a grudge or two, or three. And that poisons your relations with her, so that she is ever less able to satisfy you. Your resentment and disillusion can then only grow.
Hers too, likewise.
To fall into this sort of idolatry is to mistake the true goods that are to be harvested from women. These goods are those of virtue, which is its own reward: to do good is to feel good. The true reward to be gotten from relations with women is reaped in doing them true good. This entails shedding your attachment to your own petty inclinations for this or that pleasantness, and also seeing through her similar petty inclinations straight through to her true spiritual good, and then doing that good to her, and for her (rather than for yourself).
Mutatis mutandis, what is more pleasant among the goods of this world than to hear from another that you are to her good? So if you do good to a woman (who is not a moral idiot), she will feel it and tell you (somehow) that you have done so, and that she finds you good.
So long as you are focused on what you can get from women for yourself, you are prevented from doing good to women, except accidentally – or except insofar as their neuroses or defects fit beneficently with yours for a time, so that each of you find your defective desires for a while palliated. So you are prevented from enjoying the natural outworkings for your experience of their happiness in you. You are prevented from love. Garbage in, garbage out.
Focus instead on doing women good, without thought of what you might get for yourself as a consequence. Chop wood, carry water.
After all, a gift given in expectation of a fitting return is not a true gift, but a purchase. It is a transaction one might undertake with a whore. Give, rather. Give toward her true good as you honestly see it (albeit not perhaps as she seems to think it), for her sake rather than for yours. Then only will she give back. Give nobly, magnanimously, as one gives who has surfeit of riches.
Chop wood, carry water; do the right thing, whatever may come. Things will then even out for you in the end, in just the way that they should, under Heaven. Whether women end up involved in that, is rather inconsequential in the final analysis.
And this is a key: women are attracted to strong men. What man is stronger than him who looks first and foremost to Heaven, and devil take the hindmost? Men who slaver after women are repugnant to them; disgust them. It is the men who are about other, bigger things, who while not altogether disinterested can therefore take or leave women, and who when push comes to shove might rather do without them, who are the most attractive to women.